Have you ever taken a fun personality quiz online? Maybe one that tells you which Taylor Swift song matches your vibe? While these quizzes are entertaining, they don’t offer scientific insights into your personality. Surprisingly, many well-known personality tests used by schools and companies also lack solid research backing.
Despite being a billion-dollar industry, these commercial personality assessments often fail to predict career success and usually reinforce the idea that our personality traits are fixed. However, recent studies in personality science suggest that our traits can change over time.
As a clinical psychologist and personality change researcher, I have observed my own personality evolve from being disorganized and lazy to becoming highly conscientious. My experiences, along with my research, indicate that people can actively shape their personality traits to align with their goals and aspirations. This idea challenges the common belief that our personalities lock us into specific roles, relationships, and career paths.
Understanding Personality Psychologists define personality as the typical way someone thinks, feels, and behaves. For instance, do you view the world through a pessimistic lens, or are you an optimist? When faced with challenges, do you react with anger or understanding? Do you procrastinate, or are you a planner?
Personality traits are often categorized using five major traits, known as the "Big Five," which include neuroticism, extroversion, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and openness. These traits can summarize how people typically respond to different situations in life.
Importantly, personality is not the same as your likes and dislikes, sense of humor, values, or what matters to you. Changing your Big Five traits doesn’t alter the core of who you are; it simply involves adjusting how you respond to life's challenges.
Can You Change Your Personality? The good news is that personality can change! Since personality encompasses our typical ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, changes can be made through intentional efforts.
For example, if you struggle with being dependable, you can start by thinking, “Arriving on time shows respect for others.” By fostering positive feelings when you arrive early and implementing new habits like setting alarms and reminders, you can begin to embody the traits of a reliable person. Over time, this consistent change in thought and behavior can lead to a genuine shift in your personality.
Research supports this idea. As people age, they generally experience fewer negative emotions, become more conscientious, and focus more on positive relationships. However, the extent of these changes can vary widely among individuals.
Studies have shown that targeted personality interventions can lead to significant changes in a relatively short period. With focused efforts, you can see improvements in less than 20 weeks rather than over decades.
Cultivating Traits That Benefit You The exciting part is that you don’t need a therapist to start making these changes. Here are some simple cognitive-behavioral techniques you can try:
Change Your Thinking Patterns: Become aware of your thoughts and identify any that keep you stuck in certain behaviors. For instance, if you think, “Everyone is selfish,” you might react defensively around others. Try New Behaviors: Be mindful of your habitual actions and experiment with new responses. If you typically act defensively, others may respond negatively, reinforcing your distrust. Instead, try being open; for example, share your challenges with a colleague to see if their response is different.These strategies work because personality is fundamentally about how we think and act. By consistently altering your mindset and behaviors, you can develop lasting habits that help you create the personality you desire.
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